Plans in Place, Deals now Done
by Mr. Mxyzptlk
Summary: The end of the world has come, and Dipper Pines is powerless to stop it... or is he? What if his entire life has been leading up to this point? What if all events, large and small, have been manipulated by a certain demon to get the young boy to this? Bill Cipher has made countless plans and numerous deals for centuries. Time to collect. (Continued. Rating may still go up.)
1. Chapter 1

AN: 'Allo! New story time. One shot unless people like it. Remember folks to Relax, Read and Review. Seriously, review. It is my lifeblood!

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Everything was hurting. Everything was screaming. Everything was dying. Everything… was burning.

The trees, the ground, even the air itself seemed to be set ablaze with the unholy and terrible energy that spilled forth from the massive rift in the sky. Simply looking at the unnatural anomaly was enough to hurt the eyes and weaken the barriers in the mind that separated sanity and insanity. But if one _were_ to look into it… gaze into its multicolored, cosmic depths long enough… then you would see _them_. The multitudes of formless, nightmarish creatures barreling down the tunnel-like rift. Slowly but surely, crossing light-years of distance in a matter of minutes.

Down… down… down unto the mortal world. To burn it all to ash.

Dipper Pines could only look on in pure unadulterated horror as he gazed at the rift, stopping only occasionally to look around at the fleeing and panicking citizens of Gravity Falls.

They were scared… no… that word was insufficient, near insulting, to describe the state of these people. Even 'terrified' failed to capture the unlimited fear that radiated from the poor fools that inhabited the town that was soon to be the first feast of the Great Demons of the Nightmare Realm.

His great uncles, or Grunkles as Dipper and his sister liked to call them, were already trying to coordinate and evacuate the town… but Dipper knew it would be useless. The horrors that would soon wash over the world could not be stopped. Could not be delayed. Could not be bargained nor pleaded with.

And it was all his fault.

If only he managed to hide the rift better… protect it better… or find some way to destroy it… if only… if only he hadn't betrayed his sister when she truly needed him. If only he had promised to stay with her. But it was too late now. It was the End of the World… and Dipper did not feel fine.

The young teen fell to his knees, hands tearing at the flaming grass and tears spilling out of his eyes as the true weight of just what was happening hit him.

His family… they were all going to die.

"Mabel… everyone… I'm so sorry."

At that moment a loud pop of air and a sinister chuckle interrupted Dipper's anguished musings.

"Ah, come off it Pine Tree! It's just a little Armageddon! I'm sure they'll forgive you." A loud, snide voice mocked from above.

Dipper's head shot up so fast that if anyone else were there, they would have sworn they heard his neck crack.

There, floating a few feet away and a few inches above him was the one who had started it all… the dream demon that had not only tried to destroy his Grunkle's mind, but had stolen his body, put his sister in danger and had planned all of this…

The triangular trickster… Bill Cipher.

"Howdy kid! You look a bit down." The one-eyed energy being greeted him good naturedly, happily twirling his cane.

"YOU!" Dipper shouted, quickly picking himself up off the ground and wildly swinging his arms at the lying cyclops.

Bill merely laughed as Dipper passed harmlessly through him, his wild attacks causing him to lose balance as he met nothing but air and soon enough, the ground.

"Whoa there, kiddo! I'm sensing some hostility here. What's got your briefs in a bunch? Ha ha!" Bill laughed as his eye and bow tie sank into his body and reappeared on the other side, watching Dipper once more without even turning around.

"You… you did all this! This is all your fault!" The young mystery enthusiast cried out in rage as he picked himself up and faced the demon with an unmeasured amount of hate and fear.

"Heh, guilty as charged, Pine Tree. But I couldn't have done it without you and your sister! Kudos! Gracias! Thanks a bunch, puppet-boy! Really, I mean, staying in Gravity Falls? Leaving your sister? Your twin? Your parents? All for your own desire for what you wanted for an uncertain future? Really, it made playing your sister even easier than it was for you with the whole computer jumbo!" the demon cried gleefully.

Dipper wanted to scream, shout and cry. He wanted to deny the master of the mind's allegations. He wanted to put all the blame on Bill… but he couldn't. Because a small, self-hating part of Dipper knew the demon was right.

The young teen let out a strangled sob as his arms hung loosely at his side, his fists unclenching and his stance once more unsteady… it just… hurt too much. It was better to just let go.

"What do you want, Bill? To gloat? To rub it in? Well go ahead… you've won… whatever that even means." The young paranormal investigator spat out bitterly.

"Oh, well, glad you asked kid! It means: The bridge between worlds is now open, my brethren are now coming down the tunnel like a big old water slide, and this world is now our personal paradise. Oh, and the probable extinction of your entire species and the destruction of everything and everyone you ever loved. You know, no biggie." Bill explained, laying leisurely in the air.

Once more Dipper wanted to get angry. He wanted to be furious, actually. To deny Bill his victory and state his family would find a way to stop him. That the human race would prevail… but he had seen Bill's power. He could see what the dream demon could do. And now he was free to use all of his power in their world with no restrictions…

What hope did humanity have against hundreds, maybe even THOUSANDS of demons just as powerful as Bill? Free to do whatever they wished with no restrictions…

Dipper knew the answer… _none_.

"Yeah, my kin will be here soon enough. Sorry it's taking a bit, but you know, I'd saying crossing dimensional barriers that span thousands of light-years in the span of about ten minutes is pretty good. And boy, are they a hoot! Nowhere near as refined or funny as me. They're more into mindless destruction and cruel torture games. Eh, but to each his own." The yellow demon chuckled.

Each word felt like a spike driven into Dipper's heart.

"Yeah… it sure would be great if someone could stop this. You know, someone other than me of course." Bill added casually, almost as an aside.

Dipper's eyes widened and he looked at Bill for a long moment before speaking.

"You… can stop this?" Dipper asked tentatively.

"Of course!" Bill responded jovially. "I put all this in motion. I planned all of this. You think I wouldn't have a way to stop this if I wanted?"

"How?" Dipper asked desperately, running closer to the floating demon.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… Hold up there Pine Tree, I said 'If I wanted'." Bill chuckled, pulling a small tape recorder out of nowhere and replaying the specific part of the conversation just to prove his point.

"The question is…" the triangular puppet master continued, tossing the recorder over his shoulder and not even blinking as it exploded into a ball of confetti. "Do I want to?"

Dipper looked at Bill for a long moment before glancing at the rift, then back to Bill.

"Do you?" The now teenager asked, his voice cracking with near hysterics.

"Eh, not particularly. Once my kin explode into this dimension and turn it into our own personal playground, I'll be treated like a hero! I mean, like 'every-party-insta-invite' kinda popularity here. But… I MIGHT be willing to close the rift… for a price." Bill said the last part quietly, his singular eye glowing blue for a brief moment.

"What? What do you want? What could you possibly want at this point?! Whatever it is, I'll give it to you!" Dipper said frantically.

"Oh ho ho, really? Are you sure? This is quite I hefty price I'm after." Bill responded coyly.

"I don't care. Please! I'll do whatever it takes, what do you want?" Dipper begged.

"Ah, desperation. An acquired taste. Like bitter wine. Well… what I want, Pine Tree… is you." Bill said ominously, his eye narrowing.

That shook Dipper's resolve just a bit. He remembered the last time Bill took over his body… he wasn't eager for that to happen again... but if it meant saving the world, his family, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

"Me? …you… you want to possess me again?" Dipper asked, confused.

"Oh no, we're not talking about a mere possession here anymore, Pine Tree. No, no… I want more than that. I want… a Fusion." Bill nearly cackled.

"A-a what?" Dipper asked, growing more confused by the second.

"A Fusion. A merger. Hybridization. The two of us. Right here, right now… fuse to become one, singular, beautifully powerful being." Bill continued before apparently losing interest and floating off to idly examine a burning flower patch.

"I… I don't understand. You want to… fuse with me? What exactly is that? What happens to me if we do…'merge'? And why would you even want to do this? I thought you liked being 'a being of pure energy with no weaknesses'?" Dipper called, managing to do finger quotes even as he followed after him as the demon continued to float away, watching and examining random things.

"Have you ever SEEN the Nightmare Realm, kid? You ever BEEN there? No? Well it's not exactly the nicest place, even for us who live there! Why do you think we call it ' **The Nightmare Realm** '? Why do you think we want to cross over? We want **OUT**!" Bill said, crying out in barely contained anger, twirling around to face the male twin.

"And you're willing to fuse with a mortal to do it? Why? Seems like you're doing a good job on your own." Dipper asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the portal in the sky.

"The Nightmare Realm is… HELL, kid… almost literally. And those of us native to it can never escape it. We try to leave, it fights us. We spend too much time away without a proper portal, it calls us back. Even if I were to be _destroyed_ , I'd just reform there after a bit of time in blissful nothingness. That portal, no matter how powerful, can't stay open forever. Sooner or later the barriers between worlds will scab over. And there might come a day, a slim chance in the future, that I'll be defeated. And back I'll go. Heck, my so called 'brethren' might one day forget the debt they owe me. I don't EVER wanna end up back where I spent the last BILLION years trying to permanently escape." The dream master rambled, his top hat and bowtie having been replaced with a scholar's cap and professor's collar.

"And… if you do this, fusion thing, you'll be free?" Dipper asked, feeling he might be catching on.

"Exactly! If I were to do THIS… be reborn on this plane of existence with a mortal aspect to myself… I'd be free FOREVER. Free from the Nightmare Realm, free from my cursed, idiotic brethren… free. Sure I'd lose a bit of myself… but after countless millennia in that place with those cretins, it's a small price to pay." Bill stated calmly.

"But why me? You've been around… for ages! Why not do this sooner? With someone else? And you haven't told me WHAT will happen to me… to us!" the young paranormal explorer demanded once more.

"A bit single-minded aren't ya? But I owe you a few answers I guess. You and I will, for lack of a better phrase, 'fade into the background'. Our minds, our bodies, our personalities will fuse into one being, one entity, one demon. My power, your body. A mind born from both. The two of us will…'sleep' in our collective mind, while the new being drives us about. One of us might 'wake up' every once in a while, exerting more control of our personality than the other for a brief time, but for the most part all of our memories and personality traits will combine to create something… new. Something of both of us. It's a lot more complicated of course and this is all mostly metaphor, but it works, eh?" For the first time in the entire conversation, Bill sounded… serious. Calm, collected… and oh so serious.

That itself was enough to scare Dipper even more than he already was.

"As to why YOU, of all people… a demon can't fuse with just anybody. It has to be a very special human. Born at a very special time. With very special traits. I've been waiting a LONG time for you kid… Your sister also might work, but to be honest, kinda got a soft spot for ya, Dip-stick. Ah ha ha!" Bill chuckled, his voice at once returning to his usual flighty tone.

A thought hit Dipper like a freight train. A horrible… terrible thought.

"This… this is what you've wanted all this time. Isn't it? This was your goal all along, all these years… all these plans… to get me or someone like me… but, but… why? The end of the world… all these people. Why go through all this just to get to me?!" Dipper asked frantically.

"Ha ha! You pick things up fast kid! I told you that you were special. As for this whole debacle; the fusion has to be willing. An agreement with no doubt on either side. Would you really agree to something like this if it didn't hinge on the world? Your friends and family on the line?" Bill asked sarcastically as he lent on his cane in a leisurely fashion.

Dipper let all this information sink in, watching as the demon before him idly did flips and twirls in the air.

This was too much… too much to take in. A demon had planned and initiated the end of the world… the destruction of earth and the extinction of the human race… just to get to him. To get him into a vulnerable position so he could make a deal. It all sounded like something from one of Mabel's fantasy stories. But it was real. It was happening.

And Dipper was scared.

He immediately wanted to say no. To spit in the demon's face and stand defiantly in the face of evil. But… the screams… oh, dear Lord the screams… he could still hear them in the distance… all those people… all of Gravity Falls… all the people he had come to care about. Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, Soos, Pacifica, Wendy, Waddles… Mabel… If he didn't do this… then Gravity Falls, no… the world would fall.

Billions of people… either dead or the demented playthings to creatures like Bill… forever… the world would BURN… **forever** …

"Tick-tock, kid… my brethren are getting closer. If anything I'd say they'll be here in… eh, maybe two minutes. Three tops. The choice is yours, Dipper." Bill warned casually.

Bill Cipher of all creatures using his actual name was enough to snap Dipper out of his thoughts… and into cold reality. The young teen looked skywards at the rift and indeed, the horrible black shapes were getting closer… clearer… all the more horrifying.

Dipper chuckled, although it lacked any kind of warmth or humor. It was the laugh of someone who was beaten… and knew it.

"You win Bill… but, promise me… PLEASE… that my family will be ok… that you'll… we'll… IT, won't hurt them… and will stop those things."

"Heh, don't worry kid. I told you, we'll be a cosmic fusion of all our strongest traits. If anything, I'm sure your misguided love for your family and my unbridled contempt for my kin will get tossed in their somewhere." Bill replied casually with a shrug of his 'shoulders'.

"Then… let's do this. Do we have to do a chant… or a little dance, or what?" Dipper asked, casting his eyes on the triangular trickster once more.

"Heh, you watch too much anime kiddo. Hope THAT doesn't get into the new us. Nah, same old shtick as always, kid. Just take my hand." Bill happily explained, outstretching his thin appendage, his singular eye glowing not blue, not red… but gold.

Dipper looked at the thin, black, stick-like fingers… this was it… he was about to… disappear. Be lost in some abomination's mind. Nothing more than a voice in the back of a demon's head. And that was if Bill was even telling the truth… he could be lying. For all Dipper knew, he was selling his soul, or giving his body up for good… or this could be nothing more than a game, a lie to keep Bill amused while he waited for his fellow demons.

But even so… he couldn't help but smile.

It was for his friends. His family. So even if it was all a lie… the chance was totally worth it. Without a second more of hesitation Dipper took a firm grip of Bill's hand, nodding but once. And it all began.

Gold fire spread from their entwined palms slowly, methodically. Tracing intricate lines and patterns along their skin until it engulfed their entire bodies. The second they were surrounded, they both let out unearthly, heart-wrenching screams. The fire surrounded them, engulfed them and invaded them internally and externally. It became their very being. The blaze that surrounded them became a huge ball of unearthly flame, and themselves nothing more than mere silhouettes in the light. But soon, as the light grew brighter and the fire grew hotter, they weren't even that, disappearing from sight altogether.

Like some kind of unholy kiln or furnace, the fire forced them together. Melting them down to their most primal elements, and mixing them together. Their bodies, their minds, their souls became one. Indistinguishable from each other, bonded together. Forever.

Their screams continued, an added voice in the chorus of frightened shrieks emanating from the town. The pain… the pain was indescribable. Neither Dipper, young and wise beyond his years, nor Bill, ancient beyond belief and knower of impossible knowledge could describe the horrible, unbearable agony that they both felt.

And just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. The golden sphere of unholy fire burst forth, the heat and flames dissipating into the air like sparks of fireworks, leaving a small, scorched body in its wake.

The body of Dipper Pines knelt on the ground, the remnants of his clothes tattered and burnt. Quite suddenly, he let out a small chuckle and let out a single word.

"Freedom…"

The voice was soft and sweet… but its inflection was cruel and sarcastic. The voice was Dipper's… but the intent behind it was Bill's.

The eyes of the newly created being snapped open, large golden orbs with elongated pupils.

Slowly, shakily the creature got to his feet and with a quick look around, began to chuckle. Began to laugh. Began to cackle madly.

"Heh heh… ha ha... hahahahaha! Incredible! Wowzers! Fantastic! Other loud, joyous exclamations! So this is what it's like… what it's like to be us… _me_ … I like it!" The person who looked like Dipper, but no longer was, cried happily.

He flexed his hands experimentally, occasionally poking himself in the face or chest enjoying the sensation of touch as if it were completely new to him.

"All the power of a denizen of the Nightmare Realm… but with the physical body of a mortal to act on the material world! Ha! I win! I WIN! Power, life, immortality, tangibility, intelligence, freedom, good looks… I got it all! In your face universe!" The new being bragged joyously as he floated into the air, energy crackling around him in violent arcs.

"I'm FREE!" he crowed joyously.

A loud boom, similar to that of thunder, and multitudes of screeching and roaring brought the newborn demon's attention away from himself and towards the sky.

The shadowy, amorphous shapes of the Great Demons were nearing the edge of the portal, multitudes of fangs, claws and tentacles coming clearer into focus.

"Oh yeah! You guys! I almost forgot about you all. What with me, you know, winning and all. Ha, the old me was right. I DO hate you guys. Not really in the mood to share this world with you nitwits either. Sorry!" the being cackled as he raised his hand.

In a flash of golden light, the metal base of the dome that once held the rift appeared in his hand, small splotches of black anti-matter still clinging to the specially treated alloy.

Tossing the metal base into the air a few times, as if testing its weight, the new demon brought his other hand up and with a single glowing finger he began to casually etch a symbol into the bottom of the sturdy metal. The strange sigil resembled a blood-shot eye trapped in several ovals and triangles. The more he drew, the more it seemed to glow and pulsate.

"What began this, shall end it. And I choose to end it now. Just a bit more… there we go… and here… YOU GO!" the young creature shouted as he tossed the now finished talisman into the air.

The alloyed base raced through the air, soon becoming engulfed in gold flames before reaching the edge of the rift. The second it hit the unholy puncture in the dimensional wall, it exploded in a cloud of black sparks and thin, near invisible lines began to encircle the star-shaped portal.

The more the lines wrapped and encircled the rift, the more the wound in the world began to shrink at a very quick rate.

Monstrous shrieks and whispers of outrage filled the air as the demons saw their one way out of their personal hell began to dissipate. They tried futilely to hold the passage open by force, but all this earned them were broken limbs and severed tentacles. Multitudes of eyes and slits where eyes should have been glared hatefully at everything they could in the mortal world, before they all focused at once on the being that was once Bill Cipher and Dipper Pines. Unspoken promises and threats were passed without a single word in the span of a second as eyes and what could barely pass for eyes glared hatefully at the traitor.

The yellow-eyed demon child responded by grinning widely and giving them the finger.

With a final shriek of hate, the portal shut itself in a large, loud implosion that shook the town of Gravity Falls worse than any earthquake and the sky, slowly but surely, returned to its normal serene blue.

Silence reigned for a few moments before the fused being dusted his hands in a theatrical manner and laughed to himself as he slowly descended and landed back onto the ground.

"Well, that takes care of that. Now… time to get to know me!" the creature that sounded like Bill, but no longer was decided.

With a few angled twists and twirls of his waist and unnatural turns of the neck, the newborn demon began to inspect himself.

"Hmmm… half Bill Cipher… half Dipper Pines… all awesome! Hmmm… but what does that make me? Oh! Wait… what was it Mabel called the old me when he possessed the other old me?" The demon wondered aloud, tapping his foot in thought, sparks of energy spitting in every direction each time his foot hit the ground.

"Oh! Bipper! That's it! Bipper… Biiiiippppperrr… Bipper! Bipper Bipper Bipper! I like it! Hello, my name's Bipper! Nice to meet'cha! Hiya, I'm Bipper! Call me Bip for short! Howdy ho! Folks call me Bipper!" the newly named Bipper laughed insanely as he enjoyed the sensation of having a title.

Having settled that, he idly looked himself over. Somehow the torn and ragged clothes of the former Dipper Pines just didn't seem 'him' anymore.

"Hmph, well if I'm gonna take the name…. why not the look to?" With a snap of his fingers the old vestiges of Dipper Pines vanished and were replaced with newly pressed and impossibly clean attire.

With another snap of his fingers a full length mirror appeared and the newly created demon took a long look at himself.

He now sported the reverend costume that Mabel had made for her sock puppet play, but without the clerical collar around his neck. For some strange reason, now that he was a demon, organized religion just no longer sat well with him… go figure.

"Well, hello there hot stuff!" Bipper said teasingly, making a combination of silly and suggestive poses at himself in the mirror.

Having his fill of himself for now, he straitened his ribbon bow-tie and snapped his fingers once more, making the mirror disappear.

"Dipper!"

Bipper blinked at the call of one of his old names as he turned and saw his family approach… or was it his former family? Pseudo-family? Mortal family? …fusion was confusing.

"Dipper! The big star thingy closed! What happened? What did you do? Did you do something cool? I bet it was cool! What cool thing happened?!" Mabel babbled excitedly.

"Kid, I don't know what you did, but-" Grunkle Stan began but was stopped by Ford grabbing both his arm and Mabel's shoulder.

Grunkle Ford stared at Bipper for a long second before his eyes narrowed and his mouth creased into a frown.

"Stan, Mabel… stop. That isn't Dipper." The genius of the family nearly growled.

"What the heck are you on about Ford?" Stan questioned as he shook free of his brother's grasp.

"Yeah Grunkle Ford, it looks like Dipper… although why he's dressed all fancy I don't know." Mabel added.

"Mabel, you've dealt with… _him_ before. Look at his eyes." For spoke calmly, but there was an obvious edge of anger.

Mabel did as instructed and gaped as she noticed the golden eyes.

"Bill! Dipper! Bipper." She stated coldly.

"Ha ha! Got it in one sis!" Bipper cried out jovially.

"I'm not your sister! Now get outta my brother you isosceles monster!" Mabel ordered.

"What the heck are you two on about? Mabel, you been drinking Ford's coffee again?" Stan demanded, confused and a tad bit worried.

"Heh, sorry Mabel and old guys! No can do! See, I've become… exceptionally 'attached' to this body. Considering, you know… it's mine! Heh heh heh." Bipper giggled.

"What are you on about Bill? Your plan has failed. Whatever Dipper did, the rift is gone, the portal closed. You and your demonic hordes can never again enter our world." Ford stated confidently.

"Oh ho, Sixer. Bill's plan went off without a hitch. Just too bad for his former roommates, they were never really part of it. And as to what *I* did, why yes. All the bad monsters are indeed all gone. Oh sure, they could try this all again… it would just take them another BILLION years… maybe two, heh."

"What you did? …wait… you're not… you're not Bill, are you? But… you're definitely not Dipper." Mabel mumbled worriedly, a sense of dread forming in the pit of her stomach.

"Hoo boy, sis! You always were smarter than people gave ya credit for. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the offshoot of Bill and Dipper. Your new brother and nephew. Call me Bipper! Ha ha! I love that name!" Bipper smiled widely.

"…no…" Ford nearly whispered. "Dipper… you didn't."

"Oh but I did! Or, rather… he did. And it feels GREAT Grunkle Ford! I've never felt better!"

"Stan, Mabel, get him! We've got to get him to the lab immediately!" Ford ordered and ran towards the small demon.

Bipper merely smiled and snapped his fingers.

A blue light suddenly surrounded Stanford, freezing him mid-run.

Stan and Mabel could only stare in shock at not only Ford trying to attack Dipper, but also at the power this… Dipper look-a-like displayed. The two shared a look before Stan slowly made his way towards his… nephew?

"Kid… listen, I haven't a peanut sized clue whatever's going on, but maybe we better listen to Ford, eh? Let him go and we'll go down to the lab. See what's going on. We're your family, remember?" Stan tried to reason with his demonic relative.

"Oh, but Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford can't do anything at this point anyway. Besides! Didn't you hear me? I feel great! I-" Bipper stopped as he noticed one particular person missing from this scene.

"Oh ho, that's adorable." Bipper smiled as he snapped his fingers once more, a similar field of blue energy appearing around Stan.

Bipper turned his head around, eyes meeting those of his former twin, also encased in blue energy, stopped right in the middle of trying to tackle him from behind.

"Well… I can see you guys need some time to process this. Maybe a year or two. I'll be back then. In the meantime! I think I'll go for a bit of a walk about. See a few places, meet a few people. Destroy some stuff, make some lives a living nightmare… I don't know. Kinda getting used to being me. Oh! But before I do!" Bipper said, mostly to himself.

With another snap of his fingers the three Journals appeared before the young demon. With a large grin he snatched them up and tucked all three under his arm.

"Sorry Grunkle Ford, but I'm gonna borrow these! There's still some interesting stuff in here. Don't worry, I'll give them back once I've had my fun… in a few years or so. See ya guys later! Ha ha!"

"Dipper! Please, I know you can hear me! Stop!" Ford called out, using all of his willpower to get his mouth working past the freezing effects of the energy field.

Bipper merely cackled to himself as he skipped away into the woods, out into the wider world as his family could only watch in frozen horror as their beloved Dipper vanished.

Before he did however, they heard him sing eerily to himself, haunting words that they would always remember.

" _No puppet strings, could hold me down,_

 _So patiently, I watched this town._

 _Abnormal is now the norm,_

 _Watch out world, here comes the storm!_ "

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AN: Just a little brainstorm I had one day and had to get out. Would be nice to see if Bill's entire plan to bring about the end of the world is just a misdirection for his real goal. I might continue this if people like it.

If I do continue it though, I'm thinking of making it a crossover… having Bipper travel to different towns and cities and meet people from other shows, causing fun and mayhem with the other Pines hot on his trail to try and get Dipper back.

Tell me guys if I should continue this, if I should make it a crossover, and if I do, which show would you like to see first? Remember to Relax, Read and Review! Tata!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN** : Welp… I decided to give this another little try. Still not ENTIRELY sure if I'm gonna keep this story up, but I'll write when the mood takes me, so, meh. Let me know what you guys think.

And since no one gave me any suggestions on which shows I should insert Bipper into, like I ASKED… *ahem*, I decided to get the other show I'm currently obsessed with out of the way. Let's see if you guys can figure it out before it's outright said.

Hope you guys enjoy, and please… PLEASE…. Relax, Read ad Review. 'Tis my lifeblood it is!

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The rising sun slowly and poetically illuminated the small oceanic metropolis before it. The morning light catching on the seaside waves surrounding the small city on three of its sides, all the while chasing away the shadows from the building rooftops and the many crisscrossing streets. In a slow and well-practiced routine, citizen after citizen began to awake and head out for their day of work and recreation, whether it be at the beach boardwalk, deep in the inner city, or even at the decently sized amusement park adjacent to the human hive.

It wasn't much, really. On the small side to truly be called a city. In fact many would call it little more than your average seaside town. A tourist trap for the many highway travelers coming and going across the country.

But to a certain young demon, watching from a high plateau overlooking the bay, reaching high above even the highest building in the nearby burg; it was beauty incarnate.

Bipper smiled. Really, he couldn't do anything else. He had been traveling for… what felt like days. Actually, it might have _been_ days. But it didn't matter. He was finally here. Where? Well, that part he wasn't so sure about. But wherever he was, _he_ was _here_. And that was the important part.

He had spent hours upon hours, walking, flying and teleporting randomly. Traveling distances that might have been a few feet one moment, and hundreds of miles the next. All the while, just testing and experimenting with being him.

God, it still felt so good. So empowering and free. This exuberant and intoxicating _high_ of just being himself. Free from any and all hostilities and responsibilities. The yellow-eyed demon idly wondered if this was what the mortals referred to being 'high on life'.

Bipper hoped it never ended.

A wet cough interrupted his musings however, both on the city below and on himself, and forced the young demon to look down at the injured, near-dead Time Agent by the name of Lolph, whose throat he currently held in his small but vice-like grip. The servant of the Time Baby had certainly seen better days. His uniform was in tatters, his scouter damaged and he was covered in various injuries… some far more severe than others.

"Oh jeez, sorry about that buddy. I COMPLETELY forgot about you… or did I just think you were dead? Ah well, doesn't matter. Me dragging you for about half a mile couldn't have felt good. Especially in your condition, eh?" Bipper asked sarcastically as his yellow eyes wandered to the jagged, bleeding stump that used to be the agent's left leg.

"P-please, I'm sorry. I… was ju-just following orders, w-w-we-" the man from the far future attempted to plead but was cut off.

"Yeah, yeah. Ordered to watch me. I know. But, unfortunately for you, *I* do the watching. You got that?" Bipper asked pleasantly, all the while his grip tightened on the Time Agent's neck, cutting off even more of his precious air supply.

The fusion simply took in the mortal's anguished, desperate breaths for a few more seconds before releasing his grip, unceremoniously dropping Lolph to the ground.

"You know, you're lucky. It may not seem like it, but you are. A day or two ago, when I was the old me, you'd probably be a lawn ornament by now. Or, I don't know, maybe I'd make your insides into some pretty disturbing Christmas tree decorations. Still tempted to, really." Bipper smiled evilly as his eyes began to glow much brighter.

Lolph could only swallow nervously, still hampered by the pain and shock of his missing leg.

"BUT! I'm in a good mood. So, what you're going to do… is this: You're gonna activate your silly tape measure, you're gonna go back to your little dystopia, you're gonna recall your partner, 'cuz I know he's probably around here somewhere, and then you're gonna tell that over-entitled brat… _Time Baby_ …" Bipper spat the name hatefully, seemingly lost in his own inner rant for a moment.

In the blink of an eye however, Bipper was now directly in front of the Time Agent's face, his eyes pure white and his face horrifically distorted like static on an old television.

" _ **T**_ _ **O bAck OfF**_." He shouted, his voice an amalgamation of many different screaming tones.

Bipper at once vanished and reappeared a small distance away, arms folded behind him and with a calm, almost friendly smile plastered on his now cherub-like face.

"Capiche?"

Lolph didn't need any more incentive and immediately began to fiddle with his Tape Measure Time Machine.

In a flash of blue light and white sparks the Time Agent was gone, back to the tyrannical future that was now no longer certain. Only a small pool of blood as any evidence he had been there to begin with.

The demon child nodded, smug at his display of power and satisfied that his only immediate enemy would now keep his distance, at least for the time being.

Heh, _time_.

Chuckling a bit at the irony only he understood, Bipper's gaze once more fell on the small, beachside city below and his eerie smile again slowly etched itself on his face.

Hours flew by as the demon did nothing but wait and watch. Patience forged by ages past clashed and eventually won out over a newly installed teenage attention span, as he just looked down at the small black shapes scurry about with their short lives, like ants in an anthill. Finally the young demon let out a giggle and finally spoke, to himself if no one else.

"Time to go and meet the locals, me thinks." Bipper chuckled as he asserted the tiniest bit of pressure and allowed himself to fall forwards, rolling down the slanted side of the plateau and towards the city below, laughing madly as every stone and stick cut or jabbed into him.

* * *

The warm coastal sun beat down on the city as it reached its highest point. Noon barreling down on the people like a freight train. Lunch appeared in the forefront of everyone's minds as they raced home or to nearby food establishments.

One such establishment, about to have quite the memorable experience.

* * *

Lars huffed in annoyance as he chucked box after box of old donuts into the dumpster behind his place of employment. Honestly, working at the Big Donut wasn't SO bad. There were plenty of worse places to work in Beach City. Lars had worked at most of them. But it did have its annoying little odd jobs that really ate up time and were a pain to do alone. This was one of them.

His coworker Sadie would usually be out here helping him, unfortunately she had been bogged down with costumers coming in for the lunch rush and so that was a no-go. Lars was sure he had even seen a certain star-bearing boy in the back, so he was sure she would be busy for a while.

Just his luck.

Still, he just had to get through today. Once that was done he had a whole two days off! And what better way to celebrate such a rare occurrence than by going to the new premiere wrestling match tonight. Purple Puma was gonna dominate! Oh yeah, things were looking up.

Too bad that still left him in the here and now with all these now out of date donuts.

The lanky, red-headed teenager grumbled to himself as he continued his annoying task of discarding the once delicious baked goods but stopped suddenly when he heard an odd click-clacking coming from behind him, soon followed by the distinct sound of… humming?

" _I am a handsome little hell-spawn,_

 _Just as handsome as I can be._

 _And all the souls in the neighborhood,_

 _Are all crazy 'cuz of me!_ "

Lars stopped completely and looked behind him at hearing the odd little rhyme. What he saw made him raise a brow in a mixture of interest and confusion.

Approaching the Big Donut employee was a short kid, around twelve or thirteen by the looks of him, with pale skin and messy brown hair. He was garbed in black dress pants, a white button up shirt and a black cuffed overcoat. He was also wearing a ribbon bowtie and brown loafers of all things.

Strangest of all however; he was skipping rope as he made his way towards Lars, skillfully skipping forward despite the quick turns and pace of the jump rope.

If Lars had been particularly observant, or… cared at all, he might have noticed the rope was red and oddly… scaly.

"How's it goin' pally? What for is to you up?" the boy asked as he neared a mere foot away from the taller teen, still jumping rope quickly and a large, unsettling grin plastered on his mug.

Lars merely gave the younger kid a flat look before going back to his task. Lars had never seen him before, meaning he was either from the edge of town or an out-of-towner altogether. Probably some rich snob of a kid judging from how he was dressed. Best to ignore him, Lars believed.

He was wrong.

The grin slowly devolved into a mere smile as the kid continued to skip there, not moving or speaking for a few moments before continuing.

"Oh, is that not how the 'hip' kids talk these days? My apologies. How about we start over? The name's Bipper! Eeee! You are?" the now identified Bipper exclaimed.

Lars continued throwing boxes into the trash, though he did spare a scoff at the odd name. Bipper? Seriously? Who names their kid that? He just had to spare some sarcasm on _that_ if nothing else.

"Bipper, huh? Gee, your parents must have been… creative." The redheaded teen bit out a little meaner than he meant to, but oh well, too late now.

The boy merely laughed in return, his grin returning in full force.

"Oh! They were! 'Course, there's some debate on who should constitute as my 'parents'. Mostly in my head…" Bipper chuckled as he finally ceased jumping, holding the 'rope' he had been using as his toy close to his body.

Lars paused at that and turned to look fully at the younger boy.

It was then and there that the lanky teenager realized something was… off about this kid. Not just his name or his attire... something about him just seemed… wrong. Living in a town like Beach City where one was likely to experience monster attacks, unnatural disasters and alien invasions, one quickly grew to recognize when something was not normal.

And this kid was setting off all of his inner alarms.

It was mostly something about… the eyes. Yeah, definitely the eyes. It was almost like Lars couldn't see them properly, or fully notice them… but at the same time couldn't deny that he WANTED to… like in the back of his mind he knew; something was unique about them.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Lars pushed these thoughts aside as him just being a bit paranoid.

"Er… right, look kid, I'm kinda busy here so why don't you buzz off?" Lars casually insulted.

"Well, gee. No need to be a Grouchy-Gus. Hmmm… how to snap, what my sister would call, 'Mr. Frumpy' out of his frump?" the younger boy wondered aloud.

Lars nearly cringed when Bipper's grin suddenly turned malicious.

"I know, how about a gift? Catch!" the strange child nearly shouted as he threw the thin object he had been using as a jump rope at Lars.

The teen deftly caught it, more out of reflex than anything else and gave the younger teen a flat look.

"Gee, a jump rope… thanks kid. I haven't wanted one of these since I was-" Lars began, but his sarcastic tirade was cut short as he felt something tighten around his arm… and a strange hissing echoing in his ear.

Turning his head, he saw he was not holding a rope, like he thought. But instead… a snake… a rather long… thin… red… angry looking snake. Which now was coiled around his arm and giving him the reptilian equivalent of a glare.

The color immediately drained from Lars' face and he gave a near-silent shriek as he began waving his arm frantically about in a desperate attempt to dislodge the slithering reptile from its newfound perch.

All the while the strangely dressed child was guffawing loudly.

In a singularly clear-headed moment brought on by a misguided survival instinct, Lars fearfully grabbed the snake just under the head and began to uncoil it from his arm, the snake luckily not putting up much of a fight other than the occasional thrash. With a soft throw, the redhead sent the snake sprawling on the concrete and he wasted no time in scurrying back away from the animal.

"Are you freakin' crazy?! What the heck are you, a little psycho?" Lars screamed at the strange-eyed youth, never taking his eyes off the red serpent, who still seemed to be gazing at Lars intently.

"What? You really scared of a plastic snake?" the strange youth snickered as he went over to the prone snake and picked it up.

Lars was about to protest but then saw the kid gave the snake a good shake, causing it to move in such a flimsy, prone way that it just couldn't be alive. He then noticed the dull sheen of plastic scales and the beady, lifeless eyes.

"But… But I heard it hiss and it… what? I…" the redhead stammered.

"Heh, fear has such interesting effects on mortal minds. Wouldn't you agree, Slim?" Bipper asked casually, tossing the large toy snake over his shoulder and Lars was sure he saw it slither into the shadows.

"Ok, just what the heck was that supposed to be?! Some kinda magic trick?" Lars demanded.

"Ha, ha, take it easy Slim. Just a joke. Nothing strange going on here, honest. But tell me, I don't suppose you'd be willing to divulge where I currently find myself at this point in time, would you?" the strange-eyed kid asked sweetly.

"You wanna know where you are, like… the street? The city?" asked Lars in a questioning tone, confused as to how someone could be ignorant of what city they were in.

The younger-looking boy blinked slowly before speaking.

"The city, please. You're not very bright, are ya Slim?"

"What was that?" Lars nearly growled.

"Nothing, nothing. Geez. Just answer the question, kid." Bipper reassured.

Scoffing at the 'kid' comment coming from a clearly younger teen, Lars decided to indulge him. If only to get him gone already.

"Beach City, Delmarva." Lars muttered, giving Bipper a soft glare.

"Ooooo! Never been to Delmarva before! Grunckle Stan always called it a silly place. Huh… 'Beach City'? Not exactly the most original name, is it? I mean: Beach City! Might as well as call it Sea Town, or Water Burg. Still, seems like the kind of place a guy like you'd live." Bipper shrugged.

That was the final straw for Lars.

"Look kid, I make it a rule not to hit children. But if you've been giving me nothing but grief. So if you don't quit with the trash talk, I might make an exception." Lars hissed threateningly, rearing his arm back in an attempt to look tough.

He really didn't have any intention of hitting the kid, but he wasn't about to let some runt insult him like it was nothing, probably thinking he can just use his age to get away with it. He was a bit put out unfortunately when Bipper merely raised an amused eyebrow at him. Deciding to let it go, Lars tried to simply get the last word by brushing the kid off completely.

"So beat it, runt. Unless you wanna get decked." the older teen grumbled as he attempted to finish throwing boxes in the trash.

Unfortunately for him, the entertainment he had been providing the smaller boy had run out for the moment and so Bipper decided to indeed end the conversation… his way.

"Ah ha ha! That sounds fun, tough guy. But instead; how 'bout I take away your sense of sight and your ability to speak for the next twenty-four hours?" Bipper asked casually with a snap of his fingers.

Not even a second later, Lars' eyes grew milky white mid-throw of a particularly large box of stale donuts and he stumbled as he lost his balance out of shock and confusion.

Lars waved his hands in front of his eyes and a look of terror came over his face as he realized that he had indeed been robbed of his sight. It looked as if he was trying to yell and scream but nothing escaped his throat but a sickly wheeze. His hands grabbed his throat as his features grew more and more frenzied, if that were possible.

"There we go! I've added a bit of excitement to your sad, short life buddy! No need to thank me. Just don't get hit by any cars! Ha!" Bipper sagely advised as the older teen stumbled and tripped over his own feet.

Lars nearly and outright fell several times before finding the door leading back inside the Big Donut. With frenzied movements the lanky teen threw the door open and ran inside, wheezing time and time again in a vain attempt to form words before disappearing inside.

* * *

"Thank you! Please come again!" Sadie called after Sour Cream, her latest and currently next-to-last customer.

The laid-back teen gave her a thumbs up as he disappeared through the front door, his head never once ceasing to bob to the beat loudly blaring through his headphones.

"Wow, busy day, huh Sadie?"

Sadie looked down at the owner of the voice, the young and jubilant youth of Beach City known as the one and only Steven Universe. The short blonde could only chuckle at the black-haired child's enthusiastic query.

"You have no idea, Steven. That line had been going on for like, fifteen minutes before you showed up." Sadie replied, getting a bag ready in preparation for Steven's eventual order.

"Well it just goes to show how much everyone loves the donuts at the Big Donut! Their great!" Steven exclaimed good naturedly with stars in his eyes.

"Heh, I guess so. So what can I get for ya?" the blond asked.

"Hmmm… I think today I'll have-"

The young half-Gem's order was interrupted as the door to the back of the shop banged open with enough force to knock the flimsy 'employee only' sign clear off.

The two jumped at the sudden noise and looked over to find the second Big Donut employee, Lars, stumbling inside. The teen had a look of pure terror on his face rather than the aloof or annoyed look he normally sported. And that in itself was enough to alert both Sadie and Steven something was wrong.

"Lars? What's wrong?" Sadie asked, rushing over and placing a reassuring hand on one of his long legs.

Lars' hands lunged out and grasped the shorter teen by her shoulders, using the action to guide his face into hers. He let out a soft wheeze, even though his mouth looked as though it was desperately trying to form coherent words.

"Lars, come on… this isn't funny!" Sadie ordered weakly, a cold sweat forming on her forehead.

"Sadie, look at his eyes!" Steven called out, who had climbed on top of the counter to get a better look.

Sadie did as instructed and saw that instead of the usual hazel tone of Lars' eyes, they were much duller, covered in a foamy white lens. Her own eyes widened in shock.

"Oh my God, Steven! He's blind!" the teenage girl nearly shrieked.

"What?!" the pre-teen's shout nearly matched hers.

"Oh God… he, he must have inhaled something or something must have gotten into his face… that's why he can't speak either! Oh no, Lars… Lars! It's gonna be ok!" the short blonde said, her voice regaining some firmness in an attempt to calm her hysteric friend, grabbing his arm to steady him.

Meanwhile, Steven was panicking himself. He was scared, scared for his friend. Sure; Lars could be a jerk sometimes, but Steven knew he was a good guy deep down and still considered him a good friend, regardless of whatever he said. And seeing one of his friends in this kind of terrifying and possibly painful situation shook the young boy to his core.

Wait a minute… his healing powers! He had healing spit! Maybe if he-

His helpful thoughts stop suddenly as Steven felt an odd shiver go down his spine. A familiar sensation that his many missions with the Crystal Gems had taught him was a vital instinct. It felt almost as if he were being watched… watched by something… wrong. Watched by something that had no right to be watching him.

Craning his neck, Steven looked behind him and saw a boy watching the frantic scene playing out from outside the shop window. He appeared to be around Steven's own age and was dressed oddly, but that wasn't what caught the half-Gem's attention… it was his eyes. Glowing, yellow eyes with oddly shaped pupils that seemed to… Steven couldn't even find the words to describe it.

In that moment he was scared and happy at the same time. But he didn't know why. The odd mixture of emotions throwing the magical boy very much outside of his comfort zone.

"Steven, I need your help! Can you keep him calm and still while I call 911?" Sadie nearly yelled.

The call from his friend snapped Steven's attention away from the boy outside the window and back to the frankly worrying scene of Lars blindly flailing about.

"Uh, yeah! Sure thing Sadie! Hurry!" Steven reassured her as he took her place holding Lars' arm tightly to keep him in place, any and all thoughts of his healing powers forgotten in the quick hysteria.

As Sadie hurried to the store phone and Lars continued to wail silently, Steven stole another glance outside the window… only to see the strange boy was gone.

Shaking his head slightly, Steven's mind assured him he probably was just seeing things… there was no boy… and if there was, there was nothing at all strange about him… right?

Right.

* * *

Outside; a certain demonic child was peering through the large window as the teenager he had temporarily cursed continued to freak out and thrash about. All the while his apparent friend and coworker were trying desperately to calm him down and care for him.

He smirked at the distress he had caused. Ever since the fusion, Bipper found reading a person's aura was like a well-trained instinct. He could literally see a person's nature with nothing but a gaze and this hoop-eared teen's was a bit… nasty. Certainly not evil, but he could use a good dose of care and humility.

Bipper figured a little fear and blindness was the perfect cure for that! Of course, _how_ it would be the perfect cure probably wouldn't make much sense to anyone besides Bipper himself.

The tiny tormentor's attention drifted however, as the small, round child inside the shop craned his neck to look directly at him. Bipper's expression didn't change a bit however, continuing to smile darkly… but now for different reasons.

This child's aura on the other hand… was quite different. For one thing it was… _pink_. Very _pink_. And it was exceptionally pure. It was like this kid had nothing but kindness and love to share with the world. But there was something else.

There was something… unique about this kid. Something special. Something destined. Something _magical_.

Just like the old him.

That alone was enough to pique Bipper's interest exponentially and assured him beyond any doubt that this was definitely the right place to begin the long journey of his new life.

Having got his fill of anguish and interest, the young demon began walking away from the window the moment the black-haired child's attention was called away, quite sure the two would see each other again soon.

"Well, that was fun. But why did I come to this shop specifically again?" Bipper asked himself, scratching his cheek idly in thought.

A few moments passed before the fusion smiled and snapped his fingers in realization, either unaware or uncaring that such an action caused a nearby streetlamp to morph into a large metallic spider with lightbulbs for eyes. It clicked and hissed menacingly before heading down a nearby alley.

"Oh! That's right! I wanted to give eating a try, and I thought a donut sounded yummy! Huh… but then I didn't want to wait in that line and wondered off… guess I'm easily distracted." Bipper chuckled at himself, even enjoying his character flaws.

The yellow-eyed youth's ears perked at the sound of sirens swiftly approaching and shrugged in a nonchalant way.

"Huh, guess that ship has sailed… hmmm… but I did see a pretty snazzy looking pizza parlor on the way here. Let's give that a shot!"

Stuffing his hands in his coat pockets and whistling a tuneless melody, Bipper made his way down the boardwalk.

His adventures in Beach City were just beginning.

* * *

 **AN** : And that's that. I rather like the thought of Bipper being the kind of demon that tries to 'fix' people and teach them life lessons… but being so very bad at it because despite wanting to be good, he's also very dark and malicious. Which makes it so that he really only succeeds when it truly counts… like for main characters maybe?

I also love writing little rhymes and songs for him. I find characters who do that very creepy for some reason. I think I'll write one for him every, or very nearly every, chapter. Bonus points to anyone who can name the original rhyme or ditty that I base them on. This chapter and the first chapter count, so get on it!

Oh, and for those wondering, don't worry. There will be some familiar faces from Gravity Falls coming up... soon...ish. Yeah.

Well, 'till next time if there is one. Ja Ne!


	3. Chapter 3

**AN** : Alright… another chapter… a little surprised to be honest. But the reception has been… pretty decent to be surprisingly, so I'll give it one more shot before I'm absolutely sure I wanna continue this or drop it. To those of you who are new readers, welcome, to those not, welcome back.

Oh, and I also want advice on something. The only reason I haven't placed this in the crossovers section is because I plan to make it a large crossover eventually, multiple shows. And I'm not sure how to proceed with that. Suggestions? Keep it here? Move it to the Steven Universe crossover section and do different stories for the other crossovers? The General Crossover section? I don't know… this was easier when it was a one-shot, heh.

Oh, and for anyone curious, the reason this update took so much longer, my mother came down with pneumonia and I've had a grand old time driving over and nursing her back to health.

Anyway, enjoy the story and make sure to practice my three R's. **Relax** , **Read** , and **Review**. Seriously, review. It feeds my bottomless hunger!

* * *

Two days. Two rises and sets of the sun and moon. Two simple rotations of the world. A mere forty-eight hours.

An eternity to a tortured mind.

Two simple days had passed since Dipper's… Bill's… Bipper's departure. And it had been hell for his loved ones.

Ten minutes after Bipper had disappeared into the woods, the magic holding Mabel, Stan and Ford had dissipated, releasing them to do little more than panic. They attempted to find him. They scoured the woods for hours with no luck. They then enlisted Soos, Wendy and so many others and searched for nearly an entire day.

But to no avail. He was gone. Long gone.

Stan and Ford had been talking intensely since then. Well, 'talking' being a polite word for it. Some might have called it 'debating' or 'arguing', or perhaps even 'screaming at each other for hours on end'.

And Mabel… well, Mabel had yet to leave her room… _her_ room. It used to be _their_ room. How she wished it was such once more.

Mabel cried softly into her pillow, tears spilling from her eyes as choked sobs escaped her throat.

It had been hours since they had given up the search, although Grunkle Ford had insisted they were merely withdrawing to rest and properly plan their next move. It still left a bad taste in the twin's mouth however, whatever they called it.

It still felt like giving up. It still felt like they were abandoning her brother.

They should still be out there. Searching until they found him, brought him home and fixed whatever Bill had done to him. Until they did… it felt like there was a hole in her heart. One she could feel every single second of the day.

So many horrible ideas and questions bubbled in her head as she cried. What exactly had Bill done to Dipper? Where was her brother now? What terrible deeds was Bill forcing him to do as the rest of them impotently sat here and did nothing but talk and yell? And why… why did he have to leave?

As these and other thoughts jumbled inside her mind, the bedroom door opened and in walked Stan with a grim look on his face.

Without a word he sat on the edge of Mabel's fluffy, pillow-laden bed and took in his weeping niece with a tired, forlorn look.

"Hey kiddo." Stan nearly whispered as he placed a comforting hand on Mabel's back.

"What do we do, Grunkle Stan? How are we gonna get Dipper back?" the older twin sniffled, her voice muffled by her pillow.

Her older relative let out a suffering sigh as he looked at the ground and remained silent for a moment before responding.

"Ford and I and have been talking. He thinks he knows what Dipper did… some kinda Faustian bargain. I don't know. But what's more, he thinks he knows how to track him. Whatever and wherever he is now." Stan explained to his grandniece.

"So we can go get him, right? We can track him down and fix whatever happened to him!" Mabel nearly shouted as she got up from her lying position to look at Stan in the face.

Stan's old heart ached as he took in the girl's red, puffy eyes and excited yet desperate expression. He wanted so much to reassure her. To hold her and tell her yes, that everything was gonna be fine. But he couldn't lie to her. In one of the few instances of his life, he _had_ to be honest.

"That's the problem, Mabs… we can track him… follow him, sure. But he's… already so far away. Finding him is gonna take a lot of work and time. Add into the fact he could just run off again… Not to mention, Ford has no idea if it's possible to 'fix' him at this point…" Stanley slowly replied, trying to soften the blow of the truth as much as possible.

"It is. I know it is… and… if it really isn't… at least we can figure out why this happened… what he is now! Maybe we can still bring him home regardless! We can't give up on him. No matter what happens, he's still my brother!" the energetic child stated, determined.

"I know kid, I know. And me and Ford are gonna find him. But it's a bad scene, right now Mabel. I need you to understand that. Unfortunately, what with Dipper taking the Journals with hi… well, Ford's gotta work from memory and side notes now. Which ain't one of his strong points, believe me. Especially at our age." Stan joked, jabbing Mabel's side with his elbow.

He was rewarded with a small laugh from his niece, which went a long way in easing his mind about what came next.

"I'll be closing the Mystery Shack for a time. Scrounge up some cash and supplies, then me, Ford and Soos are hitting the road as quick as a lick." The old conman explained, his eyes focused on Mabel.

"But… what about me?" Mabel asked carefully.

"You'll be here by yourself for a day or so… I know you'll be fine. Or you could stay with one of your friends. Just until your parents come to pick you up. Eesh… that's gonna be an awkward reunion. Sorry, I'm not TRYING to dump all the explaining on your folks on you but, I think it might be better if they DON'T take me to court or have me questioned about their son's disappearance. At least until I actually get their son back."

"But I want to help! Dipper's my brother, I have to be there too!" Mabel nearly screamed.

"Mabel, no. I'm sorry. But Ford and I think it would be best if you went back with your parents until we… sort this out."

"I'm coming with you guys!" She cried, stamping her foot defiantly, with little effect; since she was currently standing on a soft, cushy bed.

"Mabel." Stan warned sternly.

"Don't 'Mabel' me! I'm coming too Stan!" Mabel declared, shocking her uncle by this being one of the few times she didn't refer to him as 'Grunkle'.

"Mabel, this isn't a game. This is the safety and future of your brother we're talking about. Tracking him, finding him, catching him, fixing him… it could all take weeks. Months. Years even! And you've got a life to think about. School, friends. A future. Summer's almost over and I've already arranged for your parents to pick you up. What are they gonna think if you've just vanished with me and Ford?"

The room was silent for a long while before Mabel looked at him square in the eye, her face like stone, her gaze determined.

"Grunkle Stan… when Grunkle Ford disappeared… did anything stop you in trying to find him? To fix the portal and bring him back?" Mabel asked in a near whisper, her eyes glistening with fresh tears.

The near-seventy conman was slightly taken aback but let out a sigh and responded with the only answer there was, the truth.

"No."

"Then how can you expect me to do anything different? It's my fault this happened. I yelled at Dipper. I ran away. I gave the rift to Bill. I'm the reason my brother isn't here… I have to get him back!" Mabel cried desperately.

Stanley Pines could only stare at his grandniece with a mixture of frustration, love and pride. She took after him in so many ways… just like Dipper took after Ford…

Against his wishes a smile spread over his wrinkled features. She had a point… how could he turn her away from doing what he himself had done?

"Alright kid… but what about school? Your friends? Your life?" Stan questioned, having to be absolutely sure of the young teen's conviction.

"My family is my life." She said simply.

And that was all that truly needed to be said. There were still things to do. Calls to make. Bribes to send. Explanations to give. Preparations to attend to.

But a family was now heading out, to get their Dipper back.

* * *

Meanwhile, miles upon miles away, a certain demonic entity let out a small, contented burp as he finished his first ever meal as a new entity.

And what a meal it was.

After the bust with the donut shop, Bipper had gone to the nearby pizzeria instead. A small, charming place amusingly called 'Fish Stew Pizza'. Not at all deterred by the name, Bipper walked right on in with a cheery/creepy grin.

He was immediately pleased with the much shorter line, that is to say; none, and so after a short glimpse at the overhead menu he placed his order for one large pizza of every type they served. Considering Fish Stew Pizza prided itself on a decent variety, most famously their Anchovy Supreme, it was a hefty order.

The cashier, who was one Jenny Pizza at the moment, was skeptical at first. She asked the kid before her where his parents were and tried to tell him that he'd never be able to eat that much pizza by himself. The younger teen, who she noticed had… weird eyes but for some reason couldn't tell herself why, simply responded by repeating his order several times. Completely ignoring her protests.

She wanted to refuse, but after getting the go ahead from the chef and owner, who also happened to be her dad, she took his order. Thirty minutes later eleven large pizzas were laid out on several different tables before the grinning demon.

Bipper thanked her and with a knife and fork that seemed to appear from his sleeves, he slowly began to cut up his meal, pizza by pizza, slice by slice, and politely and pleasantly began to devour each morsel, chewing quietly with a joyous expression on his face.

Jenny Pizza, as well as her father and sister; Kofi and Kiki, who had come out from the back to catch a quick look, were then witness to a small, thin, scrawny kid that couldn't be any older than a certain magical boy they all knew, slowly but surely devour every inch of every pizza. Crust, toppings and all.

It took him the better part of an hour, but he did it. Never slowing down, never stopping. He just continued to shovel bite after bite into his mouth.

Jenny stared, gaping at the kid she was half-sure wasn't human.

She didn't know how right she was.

Her father and sister were of a similar mind, but shrugged it off more easily and headed back to the kitchens to continue their share of work.

As the Pizza family gaped and pondered on the spectacle, Bipper reflected on his meal.

The demon boy quickly decided then and there that eating was one of his favorite things to do. Ever. Period.

The tastes. The textures. The fragrances. The chewing!

Never having had to eat as Bill, and requiring it for survival as Dipper, eating for sheer pleasure was a peculiar and unique experience for the newly born demon that had both and neither experiences. As a being that was not quite human, Bipper could eat as much as he liked. The food offering no actual nutrition or energy and simply disintegrating the moment it entered the void-like organ that passed for his stomach in his new anatomy.

Even the burp he had uttered was more for comedic effect than anything. Bipper _liked_ comedic effects.

Hopping down from his chair, the small magician made his way towards the exit.

"Whoa! Hold up there, little dude. Props to ya for finishing that, although you'll probably be spending some mondo time in the throne room later. But ya still gotta pay." Jenny called after him.

In a quick motion the small boy turned on his heel and began walking towards the counter. The brunette stared up at the older teen with a quizzical expression for a moment.

"Pay?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yeah, you know… pay… for the meal?" Jenny asked, leaning down to look the kid in the eye.

Bipper scratched his chin for a moment in thought.

"Pay? Pay… oh! Pay! That's right! You lot use a variety of different currencies that differ from region to region on this dustball and assign them baseless monetary value, then trade them for goods and services! Ha! Oh, that is quaint as all get out." The half-insane entity giggled.

Jenny raised an eyebrow at the kid before her but other than that did little to react to the odd statement.

"Right. So, you gonna pay your bill? Cuz trust me, if you don't have the cash, Pops could use some help in the back with the dishes after the buffet you ordered." The older teen stated plainly.

"Hmmm. I'm guessing you guys don't accept souls, huh?" Bipper asked, tilting his head curiously.

"Heh, sorry kid. Only American currency accepted here." Jenny snarked back, thinking the yellow eyed youth before her was making a joke.

He wasn't.

"Hmm… Well! Let's see what we got in the old coat pockets then!" Bipper cried out excitedly as he plunged both hands into the pockets of his overcoat.

He rummaged for a brief moment before beginning to fling things out onto the counter.

"Loaded dice…" he said casually, tossing a pair of red and black dice onto the counter, they rolled for a second before coming up sevens.

"Mandrake Root…" the demon continued, pulling out a small root-like plant in the vague shape of a human. Every once in a while it shook slightly and seemed to whine. Bipper merely shrugged and dropped it on the floor.

"Madagascar hissing cockroaches…"

"Wait, what?!" Jenny asked as she took a step back.

"Oh wait, no, those are plum raisins. My bad, Puff!" The young demon chuckled as he tossed the small dried fruits over his shoulder.

Jenny merely huffed, partly at falling for what she believed was a trick and partly at the strange nickname.

"Ah ha! Here we go! Money!" Bipper cried victoriously as he raised a large tin can over his head with a hastily scrawled note taped to it that read 'For A Rainy Day'.

"Great… ya think there's enough for the entire bill in there?" Jenny asked skeptically.

Bipper raised the can to his ear and shook experimentally. Hearing a few jingles from within he beamed at the girl and nodded.

"Yup! I think so!" He cawed happily.

The teenager sighed and held out her hand.

"Alright kid, lay it on me." She sighed, not looking forward to counting out a load of change.

Bipper held the can over her hand and turned it upside down. For a while, nothing happened. No coins or bills came out. But then he gently began to shake the can up and down. Slowly, a few pennies began to fall into her waiting palm… then a few more… then a lot more… then a ton more… then a veritable tidal wave of copper coins began to tumble out of the simple tin can, spilling out of Jenny's palm and onto the counter and soon after that, the floor.

The teenage girl retracted her hand swiftly out of the crushing flow of coins, letting the large number her outstretched hand had collected tumble down to join the others. She gaped at the sea of pennies slowly but surely filling every nook and cranny of the counter and the floor around it.

"There we go! That should be my bill, plus your tip! I hope 500% is enough." The voice of her strange customer snapping her attention back away from the large collection of currency.

Jenny looked at the young boy, who was smiling innocently at her with his arms behind his back. This wouldn't be so strange if the tin can wasn't still in the air next to him. Floating… still shaking up and down, only this time by itself… and still unleashing a torrent of pennies into the pizzeria!

"What?! Stop! Stop it already!" Jenny shouted, trying to get whatever freak show trip this was to end.

"Sorry, but I owe you a debt. Good food, good service. You asked for payment in the form of money, and so money you shall receive! Bipper always pays his debts and honors his deals! It's a Rule! The very first Rule of my new Code! Ooooo! It's so exciting!" the demonic teen jumped up and down in a hyper manner, not unlike a kid on a sugar rush.

"But this is enough! And you can't pay all in pennies!" the older teen tried to reason.

"Oh, enough for the bill, sure. But like I said, you still got your tip coming to you! And who says I can't pay in pennies? Not against the law. And not against any house rules that I can see." Bipper shrugged casually.

Jenny looked between Bipper, the tin can that was still unleashing ton after ton of pennies and the growing ocean of the copper coins, which had now totally engulfed the counter, cash register, and was up to her ankles and spilling out all across the floor.

"But… wha?!" the confused and freaked out teen babbled as she grabbed a broom by the counter and tried to futilely keep the pennies in a manageable area.

"Well, it's been fun! I'll have to come back another time! See ya, Puff!" the yellow-eyed youth waved as he once more made for the exit.

"Wait! You can't just leave me with this!" Jenny called as her broom was unfortunately caught underneath the avalanche of copper and snapped in half under the crushing weight.

"Yes I can!" Bipper cackled as he walked out the door.

Jenny fumbled with her broken broom for a moment before tossing it to the floor and running to the back.

"Dad! Kiki! Help!"

* * *

Bipper departed the pizzeria and walked around the boardwalk for about an hour, arms behind his back and a pleasant smile on his face all the while, simply taking in the sights and sounds of the beach. Every once in a while he would watch a few people talk to one another, idly listening to their meaningless conversations. Or he would enter a shop and observe their trivial transactions. He even walked down to the beach and took in the strange habits of the beach goers.

All the time, simply watching. He got a few odd looks, but for the most part he was left alone to wander the boardwalk as he willed. Which was exactly what he continued to do.

He liked this place, he thought idly as he walked towards the end of the boardwalk. He really did! The sunshine, the quaint shops and good restaurants, the sound of the sea and smell of salt winds and last but not least, the plethora of mortals to have fun with! Oh yes, he liked it here very much.

And now all he had to do was find another one to play with! It was getting late now, so it would be best to get a move-

Bipper stopped, his form stiff and his eyes wide as he heard something. Something that set his soul ablaze with manic glee and caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up in excitement. A most wondrous thing, a grand thing, a… noisy thing. Soft, subtle notes of sound drifted through the air, like raindrops pelting his brain. He knew what it was the moment he heard it of course. Thin, tuned cords pulled tight, plucked and strummed at specific intervals and reverberated through a wooden frame. But then, that's what was causing it, but it wasn't what it **was**.

It was music.

Pure and beautiful music filled with talent and emotion. And Bipper fell in love with it.

As if in a trance, the small demon walked towards the music, passing people and places he would in other instances love to observe and mess with, but not now. Winding past the boardwalk and a little ways into the town outskirts itself, he continued on, towards a grassy plain and one of the small mountains that surrounded the city.

He stopped for a brief moment as he neared the source of the heavenly sound and took in the sight.

A carwash… certainly not his first guess, but so be it. Without any more delays he soldiered on into the grounds surrounding the small building and twisted his head to and fro, desperately trying to pinpoint the source of the heavenly sound.

The reason for this single-minded drive to hear more of the music was simple and had everything to do with his newly acquired demonhood. As a former dream demon, emotion was a very big deal to him.

Human emotions were like sweet nectar or putrid tar depending on which ones you picked and plundered, cultivated and consumed. Humans, with their small minds and even smaller lives, had one edge over demons… they could feel things in ways that were entirely pure and unpredictable. And demons, no matter what their motives, _craved_ that. And this music… filled with calm happiness and an undying passion for simply making the sweet sound itself… it was like a siren's call to the small magician.

Finally the demon eyed a small, older model van painted like an old rocker's tour bus.

Grinning from ear to ear Bipper marched forward and circled around, spying a middle-aged man perched on the edge of the van's opened back and happily strumming on an old wooden guitar. He was a short, slightly overweight male, with a sunburn tan and a bald head. Interestingly however, he still had plenty of hair in the form of his flowing mane that grew everywhere but his scalp.

If he had to hazard a guess, Bipper would probably say he was the main worker here at the carwash.

The man had his eyes closed, completely engulfed by his playing and utterly oblivious to his small visitor's presence. With a final strum of his guitar the aging musician finished his song, a small original piece from the sound of it. It was pure gold as far as Bipper was concerned.

"That was really good, Music Man." Bipper smiled up at the guitarist, clapping wildly in applause.

Said musician let out a yelp of surprise and nearly dropped his guitar at the sound of the voice, his eyes snapping open in panic.

The long haired man looked down at the small boy and let out a small chuckle.

"Hey there kiddo. Sorry about that, but you gave me a bit of a scare. Oh, and thanks. Always happy to meet a fellow music lover." The man smiled.

"Oh, no, thank you! That was a lovely little ditty! Original piece?" Bipper asked eagerly.

"Oh yeah. I play all kinds of stuff in my down time, but sometimes I like to just strum a bit, see what comes to me. I got a whole album of original- Bah! Listen to me carrying on. Anyway, what can I do ya for, little dude? Parents' car need a wash?" the musician asked a bit eagerly.

"Heh, no, no. I'm new in town. You could say I'm… sightseeing. Just heard those soft tones and I had to come over and check them out for myself. You've got talent. Quite a bit. You a professional, by any chance?" the young demon asked with genuine curiosity.

"Huh? Oh, thanks little dude. But no, no. Not professional. At least… not anymore. I own this place. Best carwash this side of town." He said proudly.

Bipper took a look around, taking in his surroundings a bit more thoroughly this time. It was a small complex, only one small building that seemed to be mostly taken up by the machine wash. Overhead was a neon elephant sign, proudly displaying the establishment's name.

' _It's A Wash… I don't know if I should consider that clever or sad_.' Bipper thought with an inner smirk.

"Hmm. Don't seem to be doing much business at the moment." The yellow-eyed youth observed, causing the sunburnt man to rub his neck in embarrassment.

"Er, well yeah. It's just a slow day. It happens. Hence me sitting back and chillin' a bit with some old and sweet sounds here. But what's your deal, little guy? Got a name? Or better stuff to do than a bother an old man?" the wild haired man asked with a chuckle, showing he was merely joking.

"Oh ho! Where are my manners? The name's Bipper. And you are, Mister?" the teen asked.

"Name's Greg kid. And drop the whole 'mister' stuff right here and now. Greg will do just fine."

Bipper nodded, finding he was liking this man more by the moment.

"Hmmm. You said 'not anymore'. So I suppose you used to be a professional?" Bipper pressed in a friendly manner.

"Well, kinda. Full name's Greg Universe. Used to be 'Mister Universe' if ya can believe it."

"Hmm. Mister Universe…" Bipper asked thinking back to all of his memories he could from both Bill and Dipper's past. Finally he found something on Bill's part and quickly contrived a plausible story to hide his insider knowledge.

"I think I remember hearing something about you from my uncle… some kinda up and coming rocker a little over two decades ago. But then you just… vanished. Same guy?" Bipper asked rhetorically.

"Yup! Same guy. Your uncle knows about me?" Greg asked skeptically. It wasn't that he didn't believe the kid necessarily. But the kid seemed... off. Greg wasn't sure if it was his attire or his speech or his... eyes? What was wrong with his... eyes? Greg quickly pushed such thoughts out of his mind. Nothing was wrong.

"My great uncle to be precise. Me and my sis call him our grunkle. And he's into a lot of odd stuff. Obscure music sometimes, for example." Bipper responded, hopping up and sitting on the edge of the vans open back alongside his newfound acquaintance.

"Ha, grunkle. I like that. And 'obscure'? Gee, thanks." Greg said with a roll of the eyes.

"Heh, sorry Music Man. Didn't mean anything by it. But if you don't mind me asking… why did you disappear? The way my grunkle talks you were pretty good. Had a decent shot at making it big… what happened?" Bipper asked.

As he did, he leaked just a bit of his power into his words… a compulsion to answer his question. Bipper liked this strange, bald, Music Man… but he liked information just a bit more. Knowledge was power and all that. And personal information? Oh… worth its word count in gold.

"A little personal there, eh kiddo?" Greg asked, but not unkindly. Already Bipper could feel his magic start to do its work.

"Oh, my apologies. I was just really curious. Your music was… really good is all." Bipper said, putting on the 'embarrassed/disappointed kid' act to coax the adult a little further, rubbing the back of his neck for good measure.

All the while he leaked even more magic into his words.

"Well… let's just say I met someone. Here." Greg said with small smile of remembrance, his mental walls finally collapsing.

"Ah! A woman. Isn't that always the way." Bipper responded with what sounded like a disappointed air.

He expected something… a bit more.

"Not just any woman, kiddo. She was… the one." Greg replied, somewhat defensively.

Bipper merely raised an eyebrow in question.

Greg took his meaning and shrugged, deciding he had already come this far.

"I was doing a gig, right here in this town. She came… and when I saw her… I knew she was all I ever wanted. All I ever could want. It's… weird, ya know? A lot of people, even a good friend of mine, says love at first sight doesn't exist. That love takes time to build and develop. Hard work and care to nurture. And that maybe true… but when I saw her and she saw me… a connection of some kind formed." Greg explained, unsure why he was telling this random child, a stranger something so personal.

Completely unaware of the powerful magic that was all but forcing him to.

"And so you stayed… for her? She must be very special then. Where is she? Can I meet her?" Bipper asked, actually eager to meet what could possibly be Music Woman.

"She… she's no longer with us." Greg said, his smile fading.

Bipper stopped at that, a small frown of his own adorning his face.

"I'm sorry." He spoke softly.

And he was. Genuinely. That was a first… sad for someone else? Apparently he didn't like the thought of death… or others dying. Well, that was good to know.

"It… was a while ago. It's all good. Besides, I still got my son to remind me of her. So it's not like she's gone completely." Greg shrugged, dispelling the melancholy he was feeling quickly before had truly had a chance to dwell on it.

"Well, there's always that. And I suppose you're not doing too badly, are you? Father… business owner… widower… ok, that last one's not so great. But, still…" Bipper smiled, somehow half kindly and half snidely, at the man before him.

A moment of silence passed between the two.

"You gave up a lot… didn't you?" Bipper suddenly asked, his eyes glowing with knowledge he was gleaming from the man's unprotected mind.

Greg looked at him oddly.

"To be here, I mean. To stay here. Establishing yourself here. Starting up this business. Caring for yourself and your son. It couldn't have been easy. But you did it. And what's more, you chose to do it. You _wanted_ to do it. Gotta ask… has it been worth it? Fame… fortune… could have been yours. You had a decent shot. Any regrets?" he asked, his voice soft, subtle, pleasant and practically stuffed with magic.

Greg was so caught off guard by the boy's inquiry, the older man didn't even question that such an insight or demand came from a child of all things. The question, the way it was asked, the tone of his voice, the magic infused in the words… Greg couldn't help but think back on his life. His hopes and dreams… and the ones he had to give up to stay here in Beach City… to be with Rose… to raise Steven.

And the human smiled.

All the while, Bipper watched him. His demonic eyes taking in every aspect of the man. His face, his thoughts, his aura.

Bipper didn't simply look at the man before him. He **saw** him. Looked at him in every way he could, even reaching out and trying to read the man's surface memories.

To the fusion's delighted surprise… he saw no doubt. No anger. No regret.

What he saw… was an aura of a pure and glorious white color, with trace amounts of pink and blue. And what he sensed… was happiness. Happiness and love from the scraps and fragments of the surface memories the small magician was able to sense from the musician's mind.

Bipper was completely and utterly surprised…

Usually when people think back… they almost always have doubts. Anger. Regrets. Oh, they think they don't… but they do… it was impossible to lie to your heart of hearts… and it was impossible to hide once you knew how to look for it. But Bipper… saw none of that. He saw a man… content. And proud to be here, of all places.

And the demon smiled.

Quietly he reached over to Mr. Universe's wooden guitar, settling the overly large instrument in his lap and began strumming it experimentally.

The twangs of the strings snapped Greg out of his thoughtful stupor and looked over to his young guest.

Bipper hummed a bit as he got used to the weight of the guitar and sound of the strings. And despite the difference in size between instrument and player, a soft gentle melody erupted from the guitar and the demon… began to sing.

" _Dreams abandoned, time withstanding,_

 _All for the sake of love pure and true._

 _But you may find, your fortune's changing,_

 _Good things are sure to come to you_."

With a small flourish of the C cord Bipper ceased his one minute melody and smiled.

This time it was Greg's turn to clap as he nodded approvingly.

"Hey, that was pretty good little dude. You been playing for long?"

"Nope. First time." Bipper smiled widely as he strummed a few more notes, completely ignoring the flabbergasted look on the man's face.

Greg was about to voice his doubt at the flippant statement. No one could be that good their first time, no matter how much talent you have, but he never got the chance.

"Welp, it's been a blast but I think it's time to depart. I've got SO much more of the city to see." The golden-eyed youth spoke excitedly as he handed the musical instrument back to its owner.

Greg reached out and grabbed the neck of the guitar, the second he did, a dull golden light sheened over the wooden surface of the instrument.

Bipper's grin got just a bit wider as the phenomenon went unnoticed by Greg, the older man too focused on the mysterious and frankly, slightly creepy child.

"Are you sure about that? It's gonna get dark soon. Not exactly the time for sightseeing." The aged rocker warned as he leaned his guitar against the side of his van.

"Oh ho! Don't worry about that! I love the dark…" Bipper said ominously as he hopped down from his seat.

He began spinning in place before stopping on his heel and walking away.

"Well, er… if you're sure. Bye little dude! Good talking to you and be careful." Greg smiled, though he scratched his bald head in confusion.

The magic was leaving his system… and he was beginning to have a lot of foggy thoughts and random questions about what just happened.

"Goodbye to you too, Music Man. I had a wonderful time. Don't spend it all in one place!" the young demon cackled and he disappeared around a corner.

Greg Universe tilted his head and frowned in confusion as he chuckled and turned to close up the carwash. It was getting late and it had been a slow day, he doubted he'd get any last-minute customers.

As he moved to do just that he stopped as he spied something large and yellow out of the corner of his eye. Confused he craned his neck and felt his mouth drop open.

He stood there for a few moments before shaking his head, as if trying to wake himself from a dream. After he was done he looked again… but saw the same thing… still there.

Greg could only stare in disbelief, eyes wide and mouth agape. With a shaky hand he reached out. His hands grasping around the neck, he hefted his old guitar up with a bit of strain. If the look and unnatural sheen wasn't enough… the feel and weight of it erased any doubt from Greg Universe's mind…

His once simple, plain wooden guitar, strings and all… had somehow turned to solid gold.

* * *

 **AN** : The current market value for gold is a bit over a thousand dollars per troy ounce. The lowest possible scrap value is just under a thousand dollars. A troy ounce is heavier than a regular ounce and is just over 31 grams. There are over 450 grams in a pound. A normal, wooden guitar weighs about four pounds. Also, Bipper isn't so cheap as to give Greg anything less than the finest 24-karat. When he does something, he goes all out. Any way you do the math… Greg just got a rather nice payday.

And for those wondering, if I do keep this up, as I've said before this is a side thing really, Mabel and the others will pop up every few chapters. And yes, oh ho yes… Bipper will be meeting Steven and possibly the Gems properly next chapter.

And yes, Bipper is one of those odd people who eat pizza with silverware.

Hey-ho, have a good one.


End file.
